The Power Of The Mind

After a bit of reflection on today's run, I've come to the conclusion that real improvement is based entirely on mental distraction. It's not so much as willpower to overcome the pain and fatigue, as something else to think about so you don't obssess over it. This must be why I was never much cop at the treadmill. Running on the spot has got to be the most stultifyingly boring pasttime and no amount of Euro trance pish will make it fun.
After work I drove through the drizzle to the Sports Village to jog around a deserted track for half an hour. I've just had a look back through my playlist for mental prompts and this is a pretty representative snapshot of my thought processes, song by song. The following thoughts are all 100% genuine musings. Warning, if you would like to maintain an impression of me as a philosophical, intellectual sort of person, stop reading here.

SONG: This Town Aint Big Enough For The Both Of Us - Sparks
[This early in the session, I'm all aches and pains. A brief stitch in my right shoulder transfers to around the appendix zone before finally dissipating as I hit my stride]
THOUGHTS: Kick Ass was such a good film. I never noticed how fitting the lyrics in this song were to the storyline. Is it weird to go see it a second time? His costume wold be good for Halloween. So would Hit Girl's. Ugh the weather is minging. There appears to be random machinery strewn about today. They probably thought no-one would venture outside. I do hope no-one is watching me from the windows. I look like a nutter and I'm wearing all the wrong stuff etc.



SONG Ray Of Light - Madonna
[Starting to run well now in big, even strides and breathing heavy. Hand frequently patting the inhaler in my hoody to ensure it hasn't fallen out]
THOUGHTS: Why the fuck didn't I tie my hair back? It's soaked now and for one half of the track it's all sticking to my forehead and cheeks,or banging off eyes all the time, and the other half it's whipped back behind me in the wind. Argh I'm really uncomfortable now. I wonder if anyone would notice if I sneaked the dog over the fence one night when it's this empty. I wonder if he'd just run in circles like me or zig zag all over the place. He's so ginger these days. I wonder if he'll get more ginger. He wasn't ginger when I got him. You don't see many ginger dogs really, do you? etc




Jai Ho - Puussycat Dolls
[Getting really wheezy now and puffing several times on blue inhaler till it passes and I feel my lungs opening up again]
THOUGHTS: Must order repeat prescription. What happens if I run out of inhaler before the 10K and then halfway through I start having an asthma attack? Oh my god that'd be so disappointing, not to mention embarassing. I wonder how much of me my parents will be able to see from the sidelines. I wonder if they'll just wait at the finish line or if they'll be at the start or somewhere in the middle. God I bet I start greeting if I see them while I'm trying to run. Must get someone to take photo of me as I cross finish line so I can send to all the sponsors. etc

SONG: Maniac - Michael Sembello
[Feeling tired now. Calves sore, panting hard now. Just about halfway through]
THOUGHTS: If I get to one week before the 10K and I can't actually manage the whole route without stopping then I'm buying a bear suit and dancing the whole thing. I wonder if there will be people in costumes or if this is just a serious running race? Reminds me of that Ricky Gervais podcast when Karl Pilkington talks about moving house on the day of the London Marathon and everyone clapping at him jogging past carrying a lampshade, thinking he was part of some charity stunt. I wonder if I should just listen to a load of podcasts during the race to keep me entertained. etc.

SONG: Single Ladies - Beyonce
[Really getting knackered now yet not slowing down any. Probably pulling exaggerated faces of exertion best reserved for marathon runners, not idle joggers]
THOUGHTS: If the 10k = 6 miles and 24 times around this track = 10k then what distance is one lap and how many miles am I running in total tonight.....?
....thoughts become incoherent due to inability to perform basic arithmetic



SONG: You Got The Love - Candi Staton
[My favourite song. The running from here on doesn't get any harder, but also doesn't get any easier]
THOUGHTS: Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god why didn't I tie my hair back? Argh I've only got 6 weeks and need to run for 3 times as long. I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it. etc


SONG: Telephone - Lady Gaga and Beyone
[just 5 more minutes to go]
THOUGHTS: Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I wonder if Beyonce thinks Lady Gaga is weird? Oh god oh god oh god this is really hard I want to stop now. Argh will feel so shit if I give up before the end. I'm going to stop drinking wine I think and see if it makes my fitness improve. Oh god oh god how much longer -

- and suddenly it's over.

I'm finished and walking round the track as fast as I can without breaking into a jog and this is when all the acid buildup suddenly floods through my calves and they are screaming out for a rest and although all my body is tired out I've got waves of eupohoria pulsing through me in time with my heartbeat which I can feel in the soles of my hot, tired feet and behind my eyes and I'm smiling - because I'm done.



Then a quick stretch and a wobbly walk back to the car.
THOUGHTS: That was brilliant. Can't wait for the next one.